All I Wanted Were Some Gummy Bears!
by mardehiel
Summary: Iori is stuck in this restaurant. ABSURD RANDOMESS!There he is with Shingo, and Kyo. But, Kyo is acting strange. Even weirder things happen, and all he wanted were some gummy bears! A little crossover, too. Heeheehee. RANDOMNESS! NO YAOI! NO PARINGS!


**All I wanted were some gummy bears!**

It's dark in the eyes of a man with a fearsome aura and a bad reputation with those who are familiar with him. They are plenty of rumors of this man who, they say has no heart, has no morality, and has only a mind of a sadistic killer. While there was plenty of foul talk of him including unimaginable and gay pairings, he didn't care. But today when he awoke in a strange, and utterly squallid place, he thought that perhaps the idea of some fan, with a diseased brain, had gone way too far. The first thing he had felt, when he had been coming to, was a sharp pain on the back of his head, and an unpleasant, and suffocating heat around him. He groaned. He had opened his eyes, and what he saw was that he was in some derelict's home. He tried to stand up, but there were ropes and some chains pinning him down to this rickety chair.

He looked and listened; there were some definite signs of life in the room. "I see that you are awake."said a familiar, but aloof voice. He looked across the unclean table that was in front of him. His eyes widened. "You!"he shouted. The figure sitting across him was the figure he had sworn many times to kill. The red-haired man onec more attempted to rise from the chair, but this time with flame and effort. "Raaaah!"violet flames surrounded him. The tight rope wrapped around the red-haired man turned to ashes. The chain, however, was a different story.

The chain had only heated up turning an orange color, and cooling down as its prisoner's force subsided. "What?!" This alerted him. He tried to use force. He couldn't the chains were binding him quite well. He sat there panting. He glared at the youth he had hated so much. The object of his hatred only observed him conteplatively. "Ooh! Kusanagi-san! You were right!"said a familiar voice. Shingo Yabuki had popped out of a corner, where he had been hiding. "These things really do hold."he said as feigning to poke at Iori with his finger. Iori scowled, and eyed his rival's likeness. "Kusanagi, do you intend on settling this?" Kyo as he had been called stared back at him. "Cause I sure as hell feel like settling this now."

"Kusanagi-san, what are we going to do with him?"said the eager student. "We're going to order."said Kyo, blandly. "Uh, okay."Shingo said taking a seat at the table. After that, Iori was quite perplexed. _What the hell? Kusanagi never acts like this. _He was about to tell his enemy something, when a somewhat comely waitress broke in. "Yeah, may I take your order?"said the woman in a tight green dress, quite dispassionately. Shingo smiled at the "hot" employee. "We'll have some, won-ton, special fried rice, curry chicken, and some Mongolian beef for him."said Kyo pointing to Iori on his last item. Shingo then raised his hand, and went ahead eagerly gesturing to Kyo, that he had something to say.

"Oh yeah, and throw in a side of eggrolls." said Kyo. The waitress took down the order, and went into the kitchen. Shingo stared at her butt, which was large in size, as the lady trailed off. Before he would make his move, (again) Iori observed his surroundings. He found himself in some shabby downtown Chinese restaurant. There were few tables, and many of them were left unclean. The place was also devoid of any customers, excluding himself, the lackey, and Kyo. Although there was a hobo at a table passed out, Iori doubted he was a customer.

He was about to ask Kusanagi some questions when, unexpectedly Kusanagi began to speak first. "So, Iori Yagami, what are my greatest flaws in combat?" _What? Why the hell is he asking that? _"Well, tell me. Do you know?" Iori was almost stumped, but soon answered. "You're weak, Kusanagi."he said spitefully. "And?" "You have no projectile, and lack longer, effective combos." "Is that all?" "Pretty much."said the red-haired man coldly as usual. Shingo was about to possibly add something in when the waitress in the green dress came back with part of the order. "Yay, food!" Shingo said mirthfully. The waitress set down the dishes and returned to the kitchen to fetch some more plates. _That, was fast. _Thought the red head.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Eat!"said the strange Kyo. Shing who had been long slobbering on the table like a dog, attacked his food and devoured it ravenously. Seconds after he spit it out. "Plaaagh! What is this! It's frozen!" Kyo simply looked and examined the uncooked food. "Hey pretty lady! Come over here and give us a cooked order!"yelled Shingo. The waitress who had been sitting down ignored them and went back to reading a magazine. The manager, who was a short tubby man, and also the owner, took in the situation and rushed in. "Oh, no! So very sorry."he said taking the dish Shingo had been holding out. "So sorry, we give you two, three free orders yes?"said the man with a smile. Shingo pondered for a moment, and then again hesitated. After a long silence Shingo thought it alright, and agreed.

Ten minutes later the same frozen food was brought out. Once again Shingo hurt his teeth, and got his tongue stuck to the frozen meat. "Aaaagghhh! Usnagi-an ellp!" Kyo just stared at him with a bored expression. Iori was trying to break his chains as this madness continued. "Oh, no. Don't worry, this come off with some hot tea."said the man holding a steaming tea kettle. Sssssss. "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"Shingo ran off into the kitchen. Still, Iori was trying to break his chains. "Kusanagi, you bastard! Is this some sick joke?!" Kyo stared at him dispassionately. "I have yet to gain any information from either or." "What?!"his answer had perplexed the red-haired man. "Oh don't put your face in the toilet!"was heard from the kitchen. "It's...cold!"cried out Shingo. "Just then the door were pushed open. A man clad in a yellow ninja attire, with white eyes appeared. Then the kitchen door was open, too. A man with a chef hat, and a similar attire in blue was there.

They stared at one another. The MK theme song had begun to play. MORTAL KOMBAT! "Get over here!" Scorpion uttered his famous line. _What the hell? _This confused the Yasakani descendant even more. The man is blue dodged the hook that had come from Scorpion's hand. They were at it, and soon to shed each other's blood when. "SSSSTTTOOOP!"the short manager had cut in. "No fighting here! Settle this in another way!" Soon enough there was a pile of wooden planks stacked onto each other. TEST YOUR MIGHT! Sub Zero who had been the chef, went in first. He bowed and then let his fist fall on the wooden stack, demolishing it. He taunted Scorpion as he stepped down. Then, it was the yellow specter's turn. This time it was cider block. He let his fist crash down, and it all turned to dust. Then he taunted Sub Zero. The two had been facing each other as another obstacle was being placed.

This time the assistant chef, Frost, had emerged from the kitchen. She looked around curiously. She spotted the iron block , and headed toward it. She contemplated it first then made her move. She froze the iron block, and struck it, shattering it to small crystals. This had caught the rival ninjas attention when, suddenly, Shingo pops out. "Contest! I want in! Me! Pick me!"the eager pupil shouted. By that time the diamond had been put out. Shingo gasped, and went very pale when he saw it. He went about nervously, and rose his hand. Thnk! Crik. Shingo had tears welling up in his eyes. "Aaaahhhhhh!" He ran off once again. By this time Iori had charged his flame long enough. Whoosh! The chains melted and broke. Everyone turned to gaze upon the amazing fire.

"Ahhhh! Fire!"screamed the manager, as he ran off to get a fire extinguisher. The bits of reinforced chain had spread throughout the whole room. They flew off in seperate directions at an incredible speed. When all the catastrophe had cleared, nothing really had remained. Only ashes and knocked out fighters were the reminants. The fragments of the chain had hit everyone in the head, except for the manger who was hinding under a fire blanket, and the waitress who was strangely unscathed, still reading her magazine, shrugging. The only one left standing was him and Kyo Kusanagi! "What?!" The Kusanagi heir had been standing there impaled to a pole and with at least four fragments of the chain in his head. "Formidable. It would be a grea honor to fight with one such as you. But knowing of the madness that surrounds the real Kyo Kusanagi, I'd much rather not. Not even a clone deserves this. Farewell, Iori Yagami." He walked and just near the vanishing point of the horizon, he self-destructed.

Iori simply put his forearm to his face. Then the idiotic Shingo popped out once again. "Wow! I'm alive!"he said cheerfully. Iori soon took his leave. Then Shingo spotted the waitress. "So, what did you think?" She looked at him and said, "You pansy. Even I can brake it." Shingo shrunk back at this and then tried to retaliate in a vampy way. "Okay, let me see you try, baby." The woman got off her seat and headed toward the diamond which was too unscathed. She sat over it, and soon the diamond began to crack. She got off and then the beautiful piece crumbled. Shingo just stared wide eyes and jaw dropped. "Wow, what else can you do with that?"

Iori had been walking down the sidewalk, he had been looking for what he had been looking for the previous day. Gummy bears, must have gummy bears. When he had been kidnapped by a Kyo clone, who wanted to acquire some more information on Kyo Kusanagi. But, anyway who cares. All he wanted now were some...gummy bears! So in an almost joyful way he walked into the candy shop. He found something weird then and there. Goro, the four-armed guy from MK, was holding up this kid. He was an employee there and had an apron and hat on. "I'm sorry I wasn't gonna steal!" "Rar! That candy is going to be paid for!"he said fiercely to the youth as he held him up with one pair of arms. "Ah! Please don't hurt me!" Iori ignored this and went ahead to go find his gummy bears. "Yes, there you are my beloved!" He had spotted the jar, but his dream sequence ended as he realized someone had beaten him to the last gummy bear! "NOoOoO! You bastard!" The taker of the last gumy bears had turned to see a very angry Orochi man. Ash Crimson was surprised and almost pissed himself. "YOU STOLE MY GUMMIES! YOU'RE GONNA PAAAAY!"

Just then Goro busted into the scene knocking over the shelves. "Who is STEALING!" The almost blood rioting Iori pointed at the effeminate thief. "Eep." "Raaah! You're going to PAY!" Then Goro picked him up and began to beat the tar out of him. Iori caught the dropped bag of gummies, and walked out of the shop only hearing Ash Crimson's screams of pain, and pleads for mercy. Gummy bears are all he wanted right now.

**So how was it? Bad, good, crazy? Oh, I don't know. Anyway I had this one pending for a while now, and it's done. To Iori fangirls, please, when you see him, buy him some gummy bears. Thank you reading!**


End file.
